“I didn’t realize just how much I was trained in a form of self-harm through self-sacrifice, which was rewarded and reinforced as good and noble and righteous and meaningful. It didn’t feel like I was killing myself; it felt like devotion.”
Dear Emma, Thank you for this thoughtful piece. I love hearing of the loving care you are taking with yourself as you traverse your own particular landscape which is, also, the place we all travel through. Sending love, fortitude, peace, delight and joy for the journey. You are absolutely and unequivocally worth showing up for and treating with the most care one can possibly muster. May the road always rise up to meet you, and I hope there is beauty in that underwater cave too. There must be light, for sure, to throw the shadows. With care and respect, A.
Thank you! Yes, there is plenty of light and beauty over here. And peace. In fact I think that's the main message around boundaries that I'm learning, that to sustain light and beauty it's necessary to protect the vessel in which we experience them. My shadow stuff is really the fear and pain of letting go of people who are stuck in acting out their shadows instead of healing them. So by letting go of that attachment and creating boundaries, I am able to sustain a level of peace I've never felt before. Which in turn allows for a much deeper appreciation of the beauty in every moment, since I'm not being thrown into survival brain all the time. And that is why I can deeply rest, maybe for the first time in my life. 💚
“I didn’t realize just how much I was trained in a form of self-harm through self-sacrifice, which was rewarded and reinforced as good and noble and righteous and meaningful. It didn’t feel like I was killing myself; it felt like devotion.”
There it is. That’s the thing. I know that thing.
Dear Emma, Thank you for this thoughtful piece. I love hearing of the loving care you are taking with yourself as you traverse your own particular landscape which is, also, the place we all travel through. Sending love, fortitude, peace, delight and joy for the journey. You are absolutely and unequivocally worth showing up for and treating with the most care one can possibly muster. May the road always rise up to meet you, and I hope there is beauty in that underwater cave too. There must be light, for sure, to throw the shadows. With care and respect, A.
Thank you! Yes, there is plenty of light and beauty over here. And peace. In fact I think that's the main message around boundaries that I'm learning, that to sustain light and beauty it's necessary to protect the vessel in which we experience them. My shadow stuff is really the fear and pain of letting go of people who are stuck in acting out their shadows instead of healing them. So by letting go of that attachment and creating boundaries, I am able to sustain a level of peace I've never felt before. Which in turn allows for a much deeper appreciation of the beauty in every moment, since I'm not being thrown into survival brain all the time. And that is why I can deeply rest, maybe for the first time in my life. 💚