Why I embrace distractions as an AuDHDer

"Distractions" spark joy and joyful chaos > artificial focus

The conventional wisdom on distractions is that you should try to minimize them.

I don’t.

“Distractions” are just how my brain works. It wants to constantly be traversing an exciting landscape of enticing dopaminergic possibilities. And I refuse to undermine my own happiness by forcing myself into a model of existence that doesn’t work for my brain.

I maintain my happy place by saying YES to what I want, not constantly slapping my metaphorical wrist every time I notice something shiny.

I believe I have higher dopamine levels generally (and am happier) because I let myself enjoy “distractions”. I have cultivated a mix (see below) of tantalizing diversions and tangents and sidequests that are a part of my day, every day.

I think we often reach for empty or numbing dopaminergic activities when we are so depleted that we can’t even spend the energy to determine what is a good choice. We also can’t stop when we’re that depleted. Switching tasks takes executive function. Noticing that you need to switch tasks takes executive function.

I keep myself out of that desperation zone by giving my brain what it needs on a regular basis.

I get a lot of things done. I just don’t do them in a linear order.

Many of my activities are generally “productive”, meaning they are things that are aligned with my overall desires and goals. I’m not entirely “wasting” time or resting (although I definitely will if I feel I need to).

But the order I’m doing things in is quite jumbled up, like instead of 1-2-3-4-5 I go 7-2-4-1-8. I still get to most of the things eventually, but because I’m saying yes to myself constantly rather than no, I am giving myself the dopamine I need to keep going.

If I tried to force myself into a linear framework, even if I was doing roughly the same things, I would hate it. I would be fighting myself all day, which would deplete my executive function.

It makes a huge difference to do things exactly when I feel like doing them.

I call this “following my intrinsic motivation”, and it’s the core of how I “manage” my ADHD—except it’s less managing myself, and more managing to fill my life with fun things that keep me engaged.

Is it chaotic to follow my brain around like a young mom chasing an energetic toddler?

Yes, of course. It’s a bit chaotic, a bit random, a bit all over the place. But it’s also high energy and high fun, which is what I need to keep my motivation high.

My goal is to support my brain and be happy, not to treat myself like a means of production.

I usually spend at least the first few hours after I wake up just wandering around the internet, and catching up on my various feeds. Then, gradually the feeling of wanting to advance my current Main Squeeze Project comes over me, and I start to work on it.

But even then, while I’m in a relatively focused mode, I’m still doing a lot of random things at random times as I feel like it.

And on a day like today, where my Main Squeeze Project’s next action is try to figure out a bunch of boring technical stuff that requires a lot of digging through forums and configuring and testing cause even AI had no idea what to do, then I’m gonna spend an even higher percentage of time doing more fun & energizing things, to balance it out.

This is exactly the opposite of the “eat the frog” advice that is supposedly how to “stop procrastinating”.

But I know how my brain works. I know if I keep it happy, it will continue to tolerate the boring complicated shit in small doses, until I get through it.

I don’t have to try to force it to do anything. I just have to support it by giving it what it needs.

My Chaos Dopamine Mix includes:

• Youtube - random educational videos, the astro-weather, politics, whatever I’m interested in lately

• Facebook - which is mostly me responding to people in AuDHD and astrology groups

• Substack Notes (this is a recent addition!)

• Writing when I feel inspired to (like this newsletter I’m writing right now)

• Chatting with AI about all the things

• Journalling

• Going to the kitchen for a snack (I don’t really do meals as such)

• Random chores (I immediately say YES to any motivation in that direction because it does not last long 😂)

• Casual iPad games - I like the kind where you spend a few minutes at a time to advance things in the game

• Learning, which often means watching longer-form videos from classes I’ve signed up for, while either taking notes or doing puzzles or coloring on my iPad

• WORK, yes, I do some of that too. 😂 Actually I do a LOT of work, it is just commingled with all of the above, and how much I do depends on how I’m feeling that day and what kind of work it is.

When I’m on social media, I am not “doomscrolling”—what I see is what I’ve curated to be optimally interesting to me. I am also very in tune with my body’s signals of “time to do something else”. I’m not doing it to escape myself. I’m doing it because I genuinely enjoy socializing with other neurodivergent folks and people who share my special interests (personal growth, astrology).

In animal rescues and zoos, they talk about enrichment a lot.

You have to keep animals from getting bored in captivity by giving them plenty of things to play with and puzzles to figure out. That’s what I’m doing for myself.

I’m sharing this not because this exact setup will work for everyone, but just as an example of optimizing your time and activity environment for your own brain, rather than conforming to neurotypical expectations.

What works for you may be completely different, and I’m just encouraging you to find it. Success with ADHD requires self-acceptance and then self-accommodation, and it needs to be granular to your own needs. This means paying a lot of attention to what works for you and what doesn’t, and adjusting your approach accordingly.

Granted, I work for myself so I have a lot of freedom in how I spend my time. But whatever your situation is, this is more about getting clear on the goal: Are you trying to conform to standard productivity advice, or to find what truly supports you?

To find what works for you, you need:

1. Radical self-acceptance and self-love and self-validation: I’m already awesome the way I am, and I’m going to give myself exactly what I need to thrive. This includes being willing to throw out any advice that doesn’t work for you.

2. Attunement skills i.e. listening to yourself until you get really good at identifying your motivational direction, your curiosity, your sense of enoughness, your need to rest, etc.

3. Self-permission to change over time, to experiment, to go in new directions, to let things go when they stop working, and to have days where nothing quite feels right without making yourself wrong.

I feel passionate about this message, because while I may not be able to solve capitalism or a million other reality-based problems AuDHD people struggle with, I can at least encourage my own community to reject messages that can be truly harmful to us if we try to conform to them, and encourage constant and complete self-support and self-accommodation. 💚