Thank you for writing that. As a Nuerodivergent female very similar to yourself I thought I would share something- Central Coherence and bottom up thinking. I hope this helps on your doing and thank you for sharing the tech stuff. I feel more welcome in that world and not in the world and all the other .......that is going on. ----isms. Relationships are kind of a nightmare because of ---(name an --ism), then disclosure of neurodivergence= xyz outcome (pick a variable at any given moment), and lets not forget about my little friend C-PTSD and the fun OCD looping in ways and levels and allistic does not understand=). And the fun time of being rejected by therapists because I am not within their scope of training. I had to teach myself about attachment and why the hell I seem to have this draw to certain types and they to me. I tell you that is one rough lesson that will always haunt me. Oregonian....used to be one....had to keep experiencing different things and leave. Don't think I could go back...Nomad soul I guess...
Yeah I had to basically learn how to be my own therapist as well and do a lot of attachment healing work. It's one of the most painful things to work on in my experience. 🫂
Its very painful because your isolated in a world that spent forever only focusing on Males and male neurodivergence. I also have some endocrine differences and if my testosterone is higher than my estrogen I am not a nice person and Neurodivergence and Perimenopause are a nightmare ---just a warning. Had to figure that out myself and estrogen seems to help with the central coherence issue and I think it has to do with learning and memory and dopamine connection but make sure it is a patch if you decide to try. I am isolated because I cannot afford the out of pocket Neuropsychiatrists that work on relationships, and allistics handle trauma different than we do and if they are ASPD allistics or ASPD neurodivergents or mixed types we have to sort of navigate all of that too. Trauma bonding , Narcissistic trait types who just seem to drawn to you for reasons I don't understand, and overtime you sort of see through them and then they wonder why you changed?
One thing I can say is watch out.....the ones that push and act emotionally available like they want to hear your pain....they could be Trauma collectors or flying monkeys....Weird as ...... Fair warning...Also, went to a "trained therapist" who was just odd as hell. It was like I was paying for being my own therapist.......Same shit has happened when I see a specialist for a medical condition.....They do this "I don't know" thing and thousands of dollars later you realize your paying for doing the work. If you ask for referrals they send you to the wrong place....$$$....Also, if you ever just want to order your own labs you can do this I discovered. But some docs tend to get mad for some reason when you do this and show them. I guess I don't really care so much about pleasing docs because my life experience has been a trauma built on traumas. Its still hard the central coherence and compartmentalization part because if I am emotionally in burn out it is my default mode network. So I try to think of it like patterns....and I try to incorporate how others are responding into the patterns to see where I might not see the top of the triangle. With inductive reasoning you have to build the top and you might be a bit slower ...its not a bad way of processing innovation because basically its a sort of creative genius type way of processing things. The central coherence issue and compartmentalization in Neurodivergence is not the same as Allistics. None of it is intentional; however, I recently met a person with NPD who studied his Autistic brother and hopes to get a diagnosis of ASD so he can get away with stuff....his words. Hypervigilance with C-PTSD is a form of high pattern recognition but the pattern recognition can lead to a false analysis of the situation.....So you have to think of all of these different variables....Its like a brain that reverse engineers naturally. For me I overanalyze the shit out of the data points and the bigger picture can go out the wayside if I am in Burn out......so that shit is kind of scary because cannot tell you how many times I have been in situations that people are like ......How the hell are you in a drug house and you don't know? Well as a child we were only shown the drugs. As a child my friends parents were drug cooks. All I noticed was a cat pee smell, stains on the wall, and I got sensory overload and said, Hey lets play at the park instead. I never went into the kitchen but when my friend was gone one day and I was informed of what happened then I realized. I never saw the parents home during the day......Bottom up thinking may come with weak central coherence and this is very critical and for me relates to compartmentalization. I think the compartmentalization is just the brain focusing on the data points and having a hard time and getting exhausted so it files the data points and goes about in survival mode. Try to form 2-3 bigger picture things at the top and focus less on the data points at first. It is difficult to do and if you have to enforce boundaries for time to process do this. I hope this helps you. I argued with another specialist about this and they finally understood what I was saying. People like to put protocols on us and its like a square peg round hole thing when they do that. With all theories and protocols they need to be adapted for how we process and think.
Wonderful! (Except for the part about the death of your soulmate… I am sorry. I know that must’ve been quite painful, although I can understand the sense of also feeling liberated). Your choice of the word coherence truly resonates with me. That’s been my keyword as well this year. Astrology has been helpful for finding the language to describe this time. I feel the shift in my being, and it is such a relief after all this time not to struggle so much. Thanks so much for checking back in and letting us all know how you are doing. And hooray for 2026!
Thank you for writing that. As a Nuerodivergent female very similar to yourself I thought I would share something- Central Coherence and bottom up thinking. I hope this helps on your doing and thank you for sharing the tech stuff. I feel more welcome in that world and not in the world and all the other .......that is going on. ----isms. Relationships are kind of a nightmare because of ---(name an --ism), then disclosure of neurodivergence= xyz outcome (pick a variable at any given moment), and lets not forget about my little friend C-PTSD and the fun OCD looping in ways and levels and allistic does not understand=). And the fun time of being rejected by therapists because I am not within their scope of training. I had to teach myself about attachment and why the hell I seem to have this draw to certain types and they to me. I tell you that is one rough lesson that will always haunt me. Oregonian....used to be one....had to keep experiencing different things and leave. Don't think I could go back...Nomad soul I guess...
Yeah I had to basically learn how to be my own therapist as well and do a lot of attachment healing work. It's one of the most painful things to work on in my experience. 🫂
Also want to say that I have a history of an Abusive therapist who would use countertransference on me
Its very painful because your isolated in a world that spent forever only focusing on Males and male neurodivergence. I also have some endocrine differences and if my testosterone is higher than my estrogen I am not a nice person and Neurodivergence and Perimenopause are a nightmare ---just a warning. Had to figure that out myself and estrogen seems to help with the central coherence issue and I think it has to do with learning and memory and dopamine connection but make sure it is a patch if you decide to try. I am isolated because I cannot afford the out of pocket Neuropsychiatrists that work on relationships, and allistics handle trauma different than we do and if they are ASPD allistics or ASPD neurodivergents or mixed types we have to sort of navigate all of that too. Trauma bonding , Narcissistic trait types who just seem to drawn to you for reasons I don't understand, and overtime you sort of see through them and then they wonder why you changed?
One thing I can say is watch out.....the ones that push and act emotionally available like they want to hear your pain....they could be Trauma collectors or flying monkeys....Weird as ...... Fair warning...Also, went to a "trained therapist" who was just odd as hell. It was like I was paying for being my own therapist.......Same shit has happened when I see a specialist for a medical condition.....They do this "I don't know" thing and thousands of dollars later you realize your paying for doing the work. If you ask for referrals they send you to the wrong place....$$$....Also, if you ever just want to order your own labs you can do this I discovered. But some docs tend to get mad for some reason when you do this and show them. I guess I don't really care so much about pleasing docs because my life experience has been a trauma built on traumas. Its still hard the central coherence and compartmentalization part because if I am emotionally in burn out it is my default mode network. So I try to think of it like patterns....and I try to incorporate how others are responding into the patterns to see where I might not see the top of the triangle. With inductive reasoning you have to build the top and you might be a bit slower ...its not a bad way of processing innovation because basically its a sort of creative genius type way of processing things. The central coherence issue and compartmentalization in Neurodivergence is not the same as Allistics. None of it is intentional; however, I recently met a person with NPD who studied his Autistic brother and hopes to get a diagnosis of ASD so he can get away with stuff....his words. Hypervigilance with C-PTSD is a form of high pattern recognition but the pattern recognition can lead to a false analysis of the situation.....So you have to think of all of these different variables....Its like a brain that reverse engineers naturally. For me I overanalyze the shit out of the data points and the bigger picture can go out the wayside if I am in Burn out......so that shit is kind of scary because cannot tell you how many times I have been in situations that people are like ......How the hell are you in a drug house and you don't know? Well as a child we were only shown the drugs. As a child my friends parents were drug cooks. All I noticed was a cat pee smell, stains on the wall, and I got sensory overload and said, Hey lets play at the park instead. I never went into the kitchen but when my friend was gone one day and I was informed of what happened then I realized. I never saw the parents home during the day......Bottom up thinking may come with weak central coherence and this is very critical and for me relates to compartmentalization. I think the compartmentalization is just the brain focusing on the data points and having a hard time and getting exhausted so it files the data points and goes about in survival mode. Try to form 2-3 bigger picture things at the top and focus less on the data points at first. It is difficult to do and if you have to enforce boundaries for time to process do this. I hope this helps you. I argued with another specialist about this and they finally understood what I was saying. People like to put protocols on us and its like a square peg round hole thing when they do that. With all theories and protocols they need to be adapted for how we process and think.
Wonderful! (Except for the part about the death of your soulmate… I am sorry. I know that must’ve been quite painful, although I can understand the sense of also feeling liberated). Your choice of the word coherence truly resonates with me. That’s been my keyword as well this year. Astrology has been helpful for finding the language to describe this time. I feel the shift in my being, and it is such a relief after all this time not to struggle so much. Thanks so much for checking back in and letting us all know how you are doing. And hooray for 2026!
Yay! And thank you for the comment! I'm glad you are feeling better. 💚